Overcoming low self esteem -
Improve your confidence

Establishing low self esteem signs

Overcoming low self esteem means understanding what your low self esteem signs are. Once you've established this, then you can begin to build on improving and increasing self esteem.

Keep in mind that at the heart of low self esteem lies negative beliefs about yourself.

The conditioning that you had when you were younger, maybe from parents, teachers, friends, can now begin to be unravelled.

Think back to the conditioning you had as a child....

Were you told you couldn't do this, that and the other? Were you told you were no good at certain subjects, no good at sport? The list goes on.

However, not all low self esteem comes from childhood experiences. Even adults can have their esteem knocked by experiences that happen in later life; difficult or violent relationships or even intimidation at work can contribute to someone having a very low self esteem. Learning to overcome low self esteem involves working out which experiences have affected you over time.

Low self esteem can be debilitating as it affects all areas of your life.  Learning to overcome self esteem and build confidence can and will take time, patience and practise, but it is do-able.  With the help of some of these self esteem tips, you can begin to start improving your self esteem.

In every day life you constantly listen to voices from your past. How often do you hear your parents or grandparents voices in your head? How often do you hear yourself say "I sound just like my mother/father". Well some of these experiences may have manifested themselves in your subconscious, and completely knocked all your confidence.

No 1# tip for overcoming low self esteem

Find out first how you view yourself. By this I mean you need to work out what you say to yourself when you feel bad about yourself.

  • I am useless at that....
  • I can't speak in public....
  • I'm fat and ugly....
  • I'm not good enough for him...
  • I couldn't possibly get promoted, I don't deserve it...

Once you've established which one you usually use, then you can begin the process of overcoming insecurity. Without understanding your bottom line you'll go round and round in circles.

No 2# tip for overcoming low self esteem

Stop forecasting what is going to happen. How many times do you predict a situation. Example - you're invited to a drinks party, and you predict that no one is going to speak to you. What happens? You've guessed it, no one speaks to you. Your whole thinking about this is connected to powers of the mind and positive talk.

You're trying here to help low self esteem, but by predicting what's going to happen (be it in any situation), you are NOT helping yourself. SO STOP PREDICTING SITUATIONS, and take these situations at face value.

Predicting these events breed uncertainty which produces anxiety and you find yourself in a viscious circle. You need to start questioning your predictions, rather than going with them.

No 3# tip for overcoming low self esteem

Positive attitude. It's time to take stock and to stop talking yourself down. Learn more about positive attitudes as this is part and parcel of your self improvement program and an important aspect of overcoming low self esteem.

No 4# tip for overcoming self esteem

Notice how you act when you feel the effects of low self esteem. Work out what triggered this feeling - was it something that you remembered from the past, or was it an external event that started the process?

Think carefully as to whether you really needed to feel like this or whether it was an act of self defence. Your attitude and how you act is vital in finding the cause of low self esteem.

It's often worth writing these feelings down on paper so you can refer to them later.

Working on these tasks will soon enable you to look for better and more helpful alternatives for combating your low self esteem. The more you face your anxieties, the easier it becomes, and eventually you'll be able to stand back from it all and look at situations in a completely different light.


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Learn how to overcome low self esteem in this easily understandable and interactive book by Melanie Farrell.